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At times, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles is convinced he is “unmatched in his abilities”. As a diagnosed narcissist, his grandiose moments frequently escalate into “really delusional”, he states. “You are on cloud nine and you tell yourself, ‘The world will recognize that I stand above others … I will achieve remarkable feats for the world’.”

Regarding his experience, these times of heightened ego are usually succeeded by a “emotional downturn”, a period when he feels sensitive and ashamed about his actions, leaving him especially susceptible to negative feedback from others. He first suspected he might have this personality condition after looking up his traits on the internet – and eventually diagnosed by a professional. But, he questions he would have accepted the diagnosis without having previously arrived at that conclusion personally. “If you try to tell somebody that they have the condition, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – most notably if they harbor feelings of superiority. “They’re in a delusional world that they’ve constructed. And in that mindset, No one compares to me and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying NPD

While people have been labelled as narcissists for decades, definitions vary what people refer to as the diagnosis. People frequently term everybody a narcissist,” explains a psychology professor, adding the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he suggests many people conceal it, as there is so much stigma around the disorder. Someone with NPD will tend to have “a heightened sense of self”, “difficulty understanding others’ feelings”, and “a strategy of using people to enhance their social status through behaviors including pursuing power,” the expert explains. Those with NPD may be “extremely narcissistic”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he emphasizes.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so I didn’t invest in relationships seriously

Gender Differences in The Disorder

Though a significant majority of people identified as having NPD are men, findings indicates this statistic does not mean there are a lower rate among women, but that female narcissism is more often presented in the covert form, which is often overlooked. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be a bit more accepted, just kind of like everything in society,” notes a young adult who posts about her dual diagnosis on social media. It’s fairly common, the two disorders appear together.

First-Hand Experiences

“I really struggle with dealing with feedback and not being accepted,” she says, “because if I hear that I am at fault, I either go into defence mode or I completely shut down.” Despite having this response – which is sometimes referred to as “narcissistic injury”, she has been attempting to address it and listen to guidance from her support system, as she doesn’t want to slip into the harmful behaviour of her past. I used to be manipulative to my partners as a teenager,” she states. Through dialectical behavioural therapy, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she says she and her partner “operate with an understanding where I told him, ‘When I speak manipulatively, when I use toxic language, point it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her childhood mainly in the care of her father and says she lacked supportive figures as a child. It’s been a process of understanding over the years what is and is not appropriate to say when arguing because I never had that as a kid,” she says. “Nothing was off-limits when my household were insulting me in my early years.”

Origins of NPD

Personality disorders tend to be linked to difficulties as a child. “There is a genetic component,” notes an expert in personality disorders. But, when someone exhibits NPD characteristics, it is often “linked to that individual’s particular early environment”. Those traits were “a coping mechanism in some ways to cope in formative years”, he states, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was dependent on meeting particular demands. They then “rely on those familiar tactics as adults”.

In common with many of the NPD-diagnosed people, one individual thinks his parents “may be narcissists themselves”. The adult says when he was a child, “the focus was always on them and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their attention turned to him, it came in the form of “intense expectations to achieve good grades and career success, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “good enough”.

When he became an adult, none of his relationships ever worked out. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he admits. Therefore, I never treated relationships seriously.” He felt incapable of forming deep connections, until he met his current partner of three years, who is diagnosed with BPD, so, in a comparable situation, struggles with feelings. She is “highly empathetic of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he notes – it was actually she who initially thought he might have NPD.

Pursuing Treatment

Subsequent to a consultation to his GP, an assessment was arranged to a clinical psychologist for an diagnosis and was told his diagnosis. He has been referred for psychological counseling on the public health system (a long period of therapy is the main intervention that has been proven effective NPD patients, clinicians explain), but has been on the waiting list for 18 months: The estimate was it is probably going to be in a few months.”

He has shared with a small circle about his NPD diagnosis, because “negative perceptions are widespread that the disorder equates to toxicity”, but, privately, he has come to terms with it. “It helps me to comprehend my actions, which is positive,” he says. Each individual have acknowledged their condition and are looking for support for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the condition. But the existence of individuals sharing their stories and the rise of digital groups suggest that {more narcissists|a growing number